Yesterday, I celebrated another year of life. Birthdays are always a time for me to pause for deep reflection. This year I found myself pondering the state of the world and reflecting on what events led us to so much discord and disconnection.
While the human race expands and people begin to occupy more space on this planet we are moving away from one another even when we are in closer proximity than ever. The pandemic didn’t start this disconnect but it clearly added to our capacity to rationalize pulling away from friends and family who we only tolerated pre-pandemic.
Our communities began to branch off into silos of similarities, our families became divided by politics and beliefs, and our own lives compartmentalized into acceptable paradigms.
Where is the connection? Where is the unity? What happened to our sense of community and relationship?
I believe we are faced with so many divides because we have forgotten how to maintain our connection to our hearts. We have left behind the messages of love and kindness taught to us by our ancestors, parents, teachers, pastors, rabbis, spiritual leaders, and counselors. These messages of love and kindness have been replaced with self-preservation and isolation.
Our bodies navigate through the world as we move past each other like sleepwalking zombies. Our minds are consumed with thoughts that range from past to future, skipping over and missing what lies before us: the present. One of my silent prayers that sustains me as I go through the day is May my mind reside where my body abides. May my heart be aware, and willing to care.
The bypass of the heart allows us to remain in this state of numbness, detached and apathetic. Only when we wake up and allow ourselves a moment of presence are we able to realize how much we are missing and how much damage we are causing to ourselves and others.
When we act or react during moments of conflict or disconnection our brain selects what data to process, and then our body has a corresponding fight-flight-freeze-fawn response. This cycle reinforces how we behave during future interactions and can lead us down a dark path of biased and bigoted actions. We must be willing to pause and access our hearts during these moments. Only when we have dropped into the heart space are we able to see people as people and not as objects. Our connection to one another becomes clearer and we can choose to release ourselves from the ensnarement of our biases and move forward with compassion and understanding.
Being able to see another human as you see yourself can bring on a wave of gratitude, generosity, and access to grace.
Our society is relying on all of us to recognize, honor, and respect the humanity in each other if we expect to cohabitate and evolve as a human species. This begins with opening our hearts.
Begin by asking yourself: Where am I judgemental? How am I kind or unkind? What can I do to be more compassionate during challenging situations? Finding the answers to these questions may allow you to gain access to restoring the connection to your heart. It takes time and presence to find out how you may have forgotten your own heart. Perhaps you've experienced something deeply painful and it felt easier to allow yourself to shelter your heart from any more pain. It will take persistent presence and intentional action to come back home to our own hearts. We are all capable of a truly transformational shift from apathy into engagement. There truly is no place like the home that waits for you in your own heart.
If you would like to learn more about how to lead with your heart and explore the intricacies of how the Enneagram and IDEA work are connected I have great news for you. My book Know Justice Know Peace: A Transformative Journey of Social Justice, Anti-Racism, and Healing through the Power of the Enneagram is available for pre-order. Learn more here.
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